(this article written under the influence of 'Strange Beautiful Music' by Joe Satriani....very nice! -plug for cd-)
Happy, friendly people love camps. Unfortunately you're really sad and you don't like people. Therefore, you hate camps. Especially the icebreakers. Cuz face it, icebreakers are all about the people. And you hate people. And you're really grumpy today cuz you woke up really early, cut short your practice time, and would rather be on a bike, doing ...oh never mind. Anyway, you're just sad. But you can't not play cause then you have to do the forfeit and the only things worse than icebreakers are icebreakers with forfeits. So you can't escape into la-la-land. Anyway, you gotta play. And play well enough not to get to do the forfeit. What's a sad, grumpy, people-hating person to do? Don't worry, here are some tried-and-tested (but not guaranteed) strategies for 6 popular icebreaking games!! Now mankind can be saved!! urh whatever.
1) Whacko
At no point of time must you end up as the one in the middle with the stupid newspaper stick. If you do (and you're as klutzy and 'blur' (confused) as me), you will end up running around like a headless chicken, making futile whacks at all the wrong people cause you're slow and you can't match the names to the faces and end up hot, tired, sweaty and pissed, with everyone else laughing at you. This is an incentive to read the part below properly and not mess it up.
Anyway, presuming you're not the one in the middle (yet), your job is easy. All you need to do memorise a few (min 2) easy to remember names (don't even need to know the faces) and listen for your name. When someone calls your name, quickly say out one of the names you previously memorised before you get whacked on the head. Alternate names so that the owners of the names don't think that you're picking on them cause if they're as un-enthu as you are, they'll be pissed off and beat you up outside the toilet after the thing is over. Then, you'll know who the owners of the names are forever. Better than any stupid game huh?
2) The 'Good morning, Tom, Dick and Harry, my name is Stupid' game.
If you have a funny name, your bad name woes will surely plague you again. There's no escaping it, unless you want to invent a false name, which will have worse results when they find out (She pretended her name was Jane cuz her real name is Ugly!! ha ha etc). So, too bad for you.
If like me, you have a normal name but a really bad memory, then make sure it starts with you so you only need to say your own name (As for me, I didn't know that they were going to play this game, so as usual I couldn't remember almost all the names and pretty much screwed myself). If you somehow can't for various reasons like someone is trying to 'sabo' (pick on) you, etc, then you just try to make an effort to remember all the names before you. Wait, that's not possible, I have a bad memory remember? Well, it doesn't end here. When it reaches you, look frightened, nervously say the first few names and fumble around for the rest, all the while looking frightened. If your group is any good, people will start to prompt you. Hopefully, you can scrape your way through. If you still can't manage, declare in frustration that you really can't remember the names and stare pathetically at everyone (when you actually do get to this stage, you'll find it comes naturally). With luck, your group members feel sorry for you and let you off without forfeit after seeing how distressed you already are. It also helps if you have a naturally soft normal voice like I do (with people I know really well, it's a different matter though hehe), then they can pretend that they couldn't hear that you didn't finish it.
3) The 'Find someone who has nike shoes, etc. amd get her to sign your paper' game.
This one is the least distressing of all the games. You get a paper full of things like 'someone who has two sisters', or 'someone who hates icebreakers' (nah just kidding) and you have to get people who really have two sisters or really hate icebreakers to sign against the requirements on the paper that they fufill. This one is easy. To start, look for your friends or the friendliest looking person in the place and exchange papers with her, telling her to sign against everything that applies to her. Now you have a few signatures. Go on in that way. What about the really hard ones, like 'someone who has a flying giraffe with butterfly wings'? By now, you will find that the people around have formed into large groups around certain people. Those are the people who fufill those really strange requirements. Just join the group, and get them to sign. They most prpbably won't refuse you cause everyone has been getting them to sign the same thing and they probably don't even know whose paper that is. If you are one of those who fufill any really strange requirements, be sure to let as many people know as possible. Then, by the time you've finished exchanging papers with almost everyone, all you need to do is visit a few of the other groups and finish up your last 2 or 3. Easier done than said.
4) 'Chop chilli' game
Very confusing? Actually, once you grasp the concept of it, it's very simple. If the movement around the circle is clockwise, look at the person on your right. Never take your eyes off the person on your right. Don't care about anyone else or you'll get confused. If you keep exactly one step behind the person on your right, you won't screw up. If you screw up, it's because someone earlier has screwed up already, unless you've been daydreaming. The best thing is that most people in your group probably haven't grasped the concept properly and are still distracted by the movements around the circle, so they get the forfeit, not you. Ha ha.
5) 'Pass the hula hoop around the circle while holding hands' game
Just do like they tell you lor. If you are 'suey' (unlucky) both hula hoops will end up at you and you have to do forfeit. However, it helps to regulate your speed so that you can put maximum distance between both hula hoops. Oh and this is important: Don't stand beside any of the popular people or the facilitators. Why? Cause if people suddenly decide to sabo them, of course they don't want to be sabo-ed (picked on) so they try to get rid of the hula hoops and only manage to at the last possible time. And guess who it ends up on? You. Poor you who's been trying to blend into the background all along. Life's just like that.
6) 'Hunter, Fire and Earthquake' game
Stay far away from the middle where all the action is so they don't see you if you cheat, which you most probably will. Don't leave a certain area (maybe like a 2m radius around your starting location) if possible and play merry-go-round with the people there by only moving into the group nearest you. Set your eye on possible easy to reach locations and have a back-up plan if they're already taken. Oh yes, and don't get a partner who's trying to 'zhen' (pick on) a facilitator. She will get forfeit somehow, and guess what? So will you.
(Some games have been omitted due to similarity to other games already mentioned. Just read, and modify to suit.)
Oh, if you 'suey suey' (unluckily) get forfeit or people keep trying to 'sabo' (pick on) you, just cooperate and do whatever they want, but with a 'This is just one of the many tortures I must go through to achieve enlightenment. I'm already used to it.' zen-like expression on your face and they'll see no fun in it and not disturb you again. If you can't manage it, try giving them a mildly sad face. Either way, no extreme emotions and don't act embarassed cause somehow watching embarassed people doing stupid things makes good entertainment. Don't look at me. I don't know either. Evidently everyone else thinks so.
If really desperate, cry and lock yourself in the toilet and refuse to come out. Everyone will treat you very nicely afterwards. This act should be only used as a last resort, for it has long-term consequences and everyone will remember you as 'the person who cried during camp'. Not a good thing to have. And also, don't pull it too often or you'll get some nickname like 'crybaby' or something. Also not a good thing to have. You'd be better off ponning.
If you just mess up during the game but no one has realised yet, don't draw attention to yourself. Just continue like nothing has happened or push the blame to the person next to you (preferbly not verbally). There are enough people trying to get you to do forfeit. Do you really want to be one of them?
Oh and if one of the facilitators seems like he might be one of your friend's brother's friends, don't verify the information with him right there and then. Your goal is to be as unnoticed as possible. Be like the Mafia. Don't draw attention to yourself and you'll get less shit from everybody.
